Rather than handle someone's body in a way that merely excites or stimulates them, start touching them in a way that makes their energy expand. Lighter touches help
expand; a heavy touch can deaden.

Anger (self-absorption?) creates blockages in the flow of sexual energy. This is a
recurring point in the literature.

Sexual pleasure is often very superficial, lasting a relatively short time but rarely
flooding the person's being. In my view, one of the leading culprits in this regard is haste.

During states of high sexual arousal, some people can feel energy flowing out of the hands and/or the feet. This
corroborates the groundbreaking suggestions of Dr. Jwing-Ming Yang regarding the flow of ki (
Qigong
Massage
, 1992/2005). People sometimes report a tingling, a buzz, a current that can enter through the head, backing up the claim that ki circulates through and around the body rather than being a self-contained reservoir.

A key portal for ki

Let's mention some new blockage points for this energy. The first is held in the V-shaped point where the back meets the buttocks. In his book on Chinese healing
techniques mentioned elsewhere on this site, Dr. Peijian Shen discusses a similar point of view.

In addition, the point called
Rushing Door (Surging Gate / Spleen 12), located in the groin, can open a rush of circulation (and possibly ki energy) into the pelvic basin and legs. It lies in the crease between the leg and the trunk of the body, near the middle. Its partner-point is called Mansion Cottage (Spleen 13), also on the crease.

Loving sexuality engenders a healing force.
Research conducted by Dr. Rudolf von Urban (Sex Perfection and Marital Happiness, 1949) has shown that when lovers relax deeply, a resonant effect called entrainment begins to take place. In this context, entrainment appears to mean a balancing of ki energies between two individuals, as if you're hooking up one battery to another. This brings healing to both, including diminished insomnia, high blood pressure,
irritability, ulcers, and other health problems. (You will not read much about
entrainment anywhere, except maybe in a physics textbook.)

It also helps raise our level of consciousness
This phenomena mirrors the peak experiences as described by Maslow, though I conjecture to a lesser extent. These
include changes in the senses of space, time, identity, as well as strong emotions and great changes in motor output (Julian Davidson,
The Psychobiology of Consciousness, 1980). As we have seen elsewhere, the
tyranny of time begins to lose its grip.

The tyranny of time

A healthy experience of sexual sharing is a whole-body approach
According to Freud, sexual excitation is supplied by all bodily parts, not merely the erogenous zones. He wrote that when libido cannot be channeled into a pleasurable experience, if flips over into anxiety. If this becomes a pattern, the repression leads to neurosis and psychosis. Found elsewhere in the literature: Unreleased, unused sexual energy can build to the point of finding discharge in emotional responses expressed in seemingly unrelated ways: restlessness, irritability, anger, depression, fatigue,
unreasonable criticism (nagging), or general dissatisfaction with one's quality of life.

When sexuality is teamed up with
genuine love and caring, there seems to come a point at which these changes in consciousness can transform our physiology. Similarly, runners speak of the euphoria that endorphins generate in their body as they overcome the first signs of fatigue and receive their "second wind."

In the sexual literature this second wind is called "glide," and other
researchers might use the word "flow," denoting the peak-level consciousness that one can experience. I've also
noticed in life that second wind or glide or flow can occur after several hours at the same highly-focused activity.

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